Monday, August 20, 2007

Faith

In the 24 years that I've lived, I've been majorly blessed in many areas of my life. It's up to you how you define "being blessed". For me, just having oxygen to breathe is being blessed...or even waking up another day, or having food on my table, a phone that rings (even if it's bills-related). This summer, I've come to realize that my whole life is just a blessing! When you start appreciating the little things, the big things seem like miracles, and they are. I love my family, they are dysfunctional, crazy and cute. They are just right for me. My friends' smiles are my day's energy and motivation. When I look back at where I come from, and I look further into the future, to where I'm going...I realize that there hasn't been one thing I've gone through that I didn't learn a big lesson from. Life is one big test! And just like a college exam, sometimes you may get that A without ever studying, sometimes you have to spend sleepless nights and facebook-less times just to get that B-. I've had my share...I know you've had yours too. We all have our stories. Sometimes I sit in the train and look around at the faces around me. We are all at the same place at the same time...but we are going different places, coming from different backgrounds, situations, problems, we have our own lives to deal with. My biggest lesson for the summer was Faith. Yes, Manre's middle name.

The funny thing is since I basically lived alone this summer...or rather, kept to myself alot...I began thinking. Everything was thoroughly thought out. And yet, none of my plans ever materialized! I started thinking about what I do from the moment I woke up to the second I shut my eyes at night (or during the day hehe..). When I wake up and open the fridge, I know that it will be cold. I know the mail comes in at 3pm, that's why I walk out at 3:15 and check the mailbox, and I'm confident that something will be there. That's faith. When I turn the AC on, I expect the house to cool down, that's faith. When the phone rings, and I see Z's number...it can't be anyone else but Z. That's faith. It's faith to believe the weather forecast, it's faith to expect the grocery store to be open at a certain time. I never realized how humans have so much faith! We are built on faith! And yet...the hardest thing to have faith in is ourselves. I remember whenever I studied 3 continous nights for my Organic Chemistry/Econ exams (with the aid of a couple milk-less milkshakes ... Oh, Wesleyan..). I would always push myself to study 10 minutes more than my scheduled sleeping time...I didn't have faith that I was ready. I walked into that exam room with the confidence of a....well, of something that isn't confident. Whenever I got nervous (and I got nervous alot), it was the faithless me taking over. Well, my faith is in God. And I guess I was failing Him when I stopped believing in the very thing that He believed in. So, like many things, that needed to change.

So, have faith. Have faith that you'll make it. Have faith that you're loved. Have faith that you'll make it through another day. Have faith that all your dreams will come true. Have faith in all you believe in. Never let anyone take your faith away from you. Have faith when it seems impossible, have faith when it has all worked out. Have faith when you've cried the last tear, or exhausted your smiles...have faith in people, even those you think suck. Have faith that you're the best at being YOU. And that you do the best job at doing the things that only YOU can do. Have faith that the bus will come on time. Have faith that the dirty person sitting next to you has a vision and a plan, you just can't see it yet. Have faith that you won't get your dream life partner, but better. Have faith in your emotional self, your broken self, your tired self, your heartbroken self, your silly, goofy self. Have faith that you're gonna get that A. Have faith that he will call, someday. Have faith that the sun will rise and set just as it was instructed to. Have faith in your career, even if it's not where you want it to be. Have faith in your country, your countrymen and women, have faith in the little kids that will grow up to have faith in their little kids. Have faith that anyone can change your life for the better, even your enemies. Have faith that the person working at the grocery store is one of the best people you'll ever meet! Have faith that you can do it, that you can work hard for it, that you can speak it toyrself and it will happen. Have faith even when no one has faith in you....Have faith. In them. Have faith in love, in dreams, in day to day happenings that make a turn for the better or for the worse. Have faith that no matter what you said, you said what you feel, and therefore you're not wrong. Have faith that life is yours for the making...the future is yours for the taking. Have faith in faith. That Faith will bring you through, faith will turn ideas to material, and faith will lead you to yr ultimate destination. Yes, Faith, Hope, Love....the greatest of these is love. Love. And have faith.